Dream Quest One Third Writing
of Severn, Maryland
By Devin Brooks
I love your eyes.
There’s a club called Random Acts of Kindness,
or something like that. Anyway, they make these compliment Post-it notes and stick them up all over the school. I ran smack
into one, and it said don’t give up. Smiley face. So, I thought it would be a good idea to post stuff on your
wall. All the things I like about you. Smiley face.
I love your smile.
I can’t believe
I’ve been posting every day, and it took me this long to come to this. Your smile. The day I first saw it seemed unremarkable.
It wasn’t until I knew you that I realized it were a miracle. You lift your lips, chip on your front tooth, and it’s
like the light of your soul sets fire to your face. And it’s like that energy couldn’t possibly be contained
in one being, so it spreads and infects whomever it contacts. It always infects me.
I love your mind.
Can you believe it? We’ve graduated. We’re off to the big wide world to become freshman again. I got into a good
school, but we both knew you were going somewhere big. A Harvard or a Princeton or a Yale. You’ve always been smart,
which, if you couldn’t already tell, is something I love about you. You’re brilliant, but what I like most is
that your curiosity isn’t contained in books. You wonder about the world. You wonder lying on sloping hills, blades
of grass glowing under the pale moonlight, letting the world in. You
look up at the stars like a question mark. With me.
I love your laugh.
It’s hot. I think this has been one of the hottest
summers on record. But it’s okay, because you grin at me, showing me the popsicles you have hiding behind your back,
half melted and sticky syrup, and I scream when you flick the juice at me. You laugh, and the sound pours out of you like
a song. High, clear and strong. It glides over my skin like water, washes away the bad, and like your smile I’m infected
all over again.
I love your eyes.
I know. I’ve already said this one, but I didn’t do it justice the first time. I don’t know if you’ve
ever had that feeling, when someone looks at you and it’s like a cord pulling tight, something clicking in…somewhere.
Your soul, I guess, because it’s more than your heart, or the little slips of electricity along your skin. It’s
everywhere, and everything feels right. Everything feels possible. You did that for me, every single time you looked at
me. And you didn’t even know it. There have been nights without sleep, wishing that the way you made me feel when
you set those eyes on me were on purpose. I remember once. We were sitting on your roof, watching the sun crash through the
horizon. The sky was painted in flames, and as the embers began to die you turned to me, and you watched. And I turned to
you and I watched the light fade from your face. And we watched each other, until the sky and earth fell away and we were
nowhere, just you and me. And I thought…I swear to god I thought...
but I’ll never know.
I love your kindness.
It’s been a month. I think I’ll never run
out of things to say about you. I just think I love everything about you. The summer’s been long, and dry. The heat
blisters, turns a day into a haze. It’s the few moments, the few blissful moments when the wind blows that I think
of you. It whispers like a soothing balm, and I swear I can hear your voice. And it’s when the wind stops,
that I know I miss you more than I can ever say. I realize it’s not you; it’s
not your voice, your smile, and your laugh. It’s not you walking down the street to meet me, to sweep us off to another
adventure. Because you’re not here. Stagnant air lets in all the bad. Stagnant air does nothing to stop the tide,
the flood of memories. Stagnant air reminds me of the day you didn’t come home laughing. The day you came home in
a body bag.
I love your heart.
I have to come here, to your new home. It’s the only way I feel close to you. I’m off
to college in the fall, out of state. My parents are moving, because they think it’s best. It’s all so surreal.
I see my future, but you’re always in it. My mind doesn’t process an alternative, like the world made some grand
mistake and it’ll right itself because you’re not supposed to be dead. I’ve said that to myself so many
nights, but it doesn’t make your grave any less true. I can’t even talk about you in past tense. The tears have
left long ago. Now it’s just the dread of having to spend a life living in this other reality, and the truth of always
searching for you when you aren’t there. Searching for your heart, even if it wasn’t shaped for me. Mine was
always shaped for yours.
I love your eyes, your smile, your laugh, your kindness,
your heart, the sunlight in your hair, the freckles on your right eyelid, your crooked nose, your big ears, your band tee-shirts,
your scuffed Converse, your thoughtfulness, your long fingers, your warmth, your curiosity, your presence...
I love you.
This is it. My last day. One heck of a summer. After today is the beginning of my life without you. And I find that I do
have tears left, thinking of all the ways I have to remember you. All the ways I have to miss you. You know, that Post-it
note was a good one. Don’t give up. I never will. I’ll never surrender your memory, breathing life into
you with every step I take. You are perfect. Perfect. And I know wherever you are there are popsicles, and hot summer days,
and hills under pale moonlight, and sunsets like fire. And one day I’ll be there with you again, and we can stare
at the stars. But for now, for all the days I didn’t say it, and all the days I’ll miss you hence, I give you
my last confession. I love you. Always and forever.
# # #
by Devin Brooks
About the author:
I have been writing since I was about 8 years old. My favorite genre is Young Adult., and I'd love to publish
a YA novel someday. My favorite authors are Michelle Hodkin, Cassandra Clare, Stephanie Perkins, Jane Austen, Suzanne Collins,
Kate Ellison, and Kelly Creagh. I love steampunk and fairy tales.